Is it Healthy for Work to Follow You Home?

At 35 years old it seems odd that I am getting married for the first time in just a few days. Most of the people I grew up with have children, and some have teenagers now. My life took me down a different road, one where for the longest time I was sure I’d be single the rest of my life. I was content with that. Then I met my soon to be wife and all of that changed.

Correct me if I’m wrong but I think most people who dedicate their lives to the military or security world are away from home a lot. Which obviously makes it hard to keep a healthy relationship at home. When your life is consumed by work, sometimes it seems like you never turn it off even when your home. I switched careers from private security to security consulting for my own company. 12+ hour daily shifts to working from home was a wild change in quality of life for me. You go from eating carry out thanksgiving lunch on the tailgate of a black SUV in an alley way in LA to writing articles and contract agreements in your character outfit and house shoes on the couch.

How many of you have brought work home and is now a part of your life. The second my Fiancé and I started dating I felt this urge to protect her like she was my client. My driving has even changed, as if the client is still sitting in the back seat with a steaming hot cup of coffee full to the brim wearing pristine business clothes. Who has a full bag of amenities in their car ranging from snacks to favorite sunscreen to a can of fix-a-flat? How far into the weeds have you gone with bringing work home? At what point is it unhealthy? Where do you draw the line? Can anyone turn it off like a light switch?

As a soon to be married man, I need to know what has worked for those who have been married a while. What has worked best and worst for you and your spouse? Are there even any solutions at all? What did you learn from it? What would you do differently?